Starting Over – 5 Questions for Making Your Personal Plan
As we've been talking about using a kind voice instead of yelling here, many people have left comments like this one,
“On those days where I’ve just lost my cool too many times and the guilt just overwhelms me when my head hits that pillow. I vow tomorrow I’ll be better. And then that vicious cycle repeats.”
How will you reset?
Assuming that aside from the occasional spam-bot that stops by this blog, we are all human here, and we will make mistakes, how do we start over? Often when we need to start over in regards to our kids, it's because we've lost control of ourselves and blown up. What is your plan for starting over once you've lost your temper with your kids? This week's journal prompts will help you come up with the support you need in order to begin again, even when you're feeling awful about the way you've acted.
These are big questions to think about. I suggest just choosing one that really sparks you to work on first. Come back later if you want to reflect more on this topic.
Journal Prompts for Starting Over:
- List making: When you make a vow to do better the next day, what else do you need to put into place to support yourself in making that happen? List support or something you could change in: your environment, your expectations, timing, plan for responding, self care.
- Can you think of people who've started over in their lives? What if they had given up? Can you think of anyone who is a model for you in starting over?
- When your adrenalin is still pumping and you still feel the heat of anger and frustration, what do you need first in order to allow yourself to start a new track? What do you need to deal with first?
- Spend some times thinking about the times when you don't WANT to start over even though it would be the healthiest thing to do. Do you ever get stuck in a destructive pattern and angry that you need to start over? Write a rant about how unfair it is. Pour in all your feelings of being a victim and not wanting to have to “be the bigger person.” You may wish to crumple this up or burn it at the end.
- Come up with a short sentence you can repeat to yourself in order to help yourself mentally reset and start over. Things like, “I can start from now.” Look for what most holds you up in starting over (whether it's guilt, embarrassment, hopelessness…) and come up with a sentence that helps you release that blockage and begin again.
If you do come up with a sentence for starting over that you would like to share, we would love to read yours!
Best wishes,
~Alissa
Fill Your Cup is a self care project by Creative With Kids. We cannot give to others if our own cup is dry. Journaling can help you stop yelling, notice joy, find gratitude or simply keep you centered as you get to know yourself better. Refill your emotional cup by taking a moment to reflect on these weekly journal prompts. Receive each journal prompt in your email by subscribing here. Find the entire collection of prompts we’ve already shared here.
Alissa Zorn is an author, and founder of the website Overthought This. She's a coach and cartoonist passionate about helping people overcome perfectionism and shame to build authentic, joyful lives. Alissa is certified through the International Coach Federation and got her Trauma-Informed Coaching certification from Moving the Human Spirit. She wrote Bounceback Parenting: A Field Guide for Creating Connection, Not Perfection, and is always following curiosity to find her next creative endeavor.