cartoon for bounceback parenting a child sits talking with an adult

What Happens When We Don’t Choose

A Little Story and Journal Prompts for Making a Choice

Kale sprouts emerged in my garden, and I knew I needed to thin them so they would grow healthy.   At first there were so many it was easy to pluck them and still leave plenty growing.

As they got larger it got harder to choose. I gradually thinned some more at dinner each night, but it felt like I would be pulling out so many plants if I thinned them to the recommended distance apart.

I left them crowded and figured I would pull more as the summer went along.

This weekend I went out to my now huge Kale patch – and received natures lesson on choosing not to choose. I had to pull nearly all of the kale and feed it to the chickens.  The plants had grown too close together and become unhealthy – they were absolutely covered in bugs.

I reflected on the many areas of my life where it feels so hard to choose.  These plants would have been able to flourish if given enough space.  I knew I needed to make more space for what matters most to me.  I needed to choose.

Journal Prompts – Choose

A Few Minutes to Care for YOU

Read through the journal prompts and take 10 – 30 minutes to write, draw or paint in response to one of the prompts.   Let them get you started; respond to what strikes you and leave the rest.  Or simply take the journal topic and go in your own direction – this is about what YOU need.

  • What are you putting off making a choice about in your life?  What are you fearful of losing if you choose?
  • Sometimes we never really know if we made the right choice.  Do you have choices that haunt you?  Is it time to finish your rehashing and reconsidering on a choice that you've made in the past?  What can you do to accept your choice?
  • If we feel overwhelmed about our choices, no doubt our children feel that way sometimes too.  Are there area's where perhaps we are asking them to choose before they are ready for that responsibility?  Are there areas where they have grown and are ready for more choice?
  • Some choices feel impossible – impossible to let go of something, impossible to choose between priorities.  Are you facing a choice like this?  What will you lose if you don't choose?  What will you gain with a narrower focus?  Is this a time when it will be OK to wait on making a choice?
  • There is power in choosing one thing to focus on.  Make a list of all the wonderful things you'd love to focus on in the next year, go for 10 or more.  Now pretend you must choose the focus of this next month and and narrow it down to three.    Now you're choosing for this week, look at those three and narrow it down to only one. What will you choose?
  • What choice do you have to make over and over again?

Fill Your Cup is a self care project by Bounceback Parenting.  We can't give to others if our own cup is empty.  Journaling can help you stop yelling, notice joy, find gratitude or simply keep you centered as you get to know yourself better. Refill your emotional cup by taking a moment to reflect on these journal prompts. You can find the entire collection of prompts we’ve already shared here.

Alissa Zorn stands near a pond with an orange shirt on wearing a black button down over that.

Alissa Zorn is an author, and founder of the website Overthought This. She's a coach and cartoonist passionate about helping people overcome perfectionism and shame to build authentic, joyful lives. Alissa is certified through the International Coach Federation and got her Trauma-Informed Coaching certification from Moving the Human Spirit. She wrote Bounceback Parenting: A Field Guide for Creating Connection, Not Perfection, and is always following curiosity to find her next creative endeavor.