64 Positive Things to Say to Kids – Words of Encouragement

A few words of encouragement can make all the difference in a child's day. When kids feel discouraged, your verbal support can give them the push they need to keep going. When they're facing tough obstacles, your uplifting remarks can help them remember their inner strength and power.

Positive encouragement makes kids feel loved, helps them gain confidence in their capabilities, and gives them the opportunity to reach their full potential.

The Power of Daily Encouraging Words for Kids

Young people face a barrage of challenges. As they attempt to find their place in the world, they may struggle with schoolwork, feel left out by their peers, or face difficult family situations. In the midst of all these challenges, it's easy for kids to lose sight of their own worth.

Adults can provide crucial support for children navigating these challenges. A few words of encouragement can give a child the boost they need to keep going. It can remind them that they are valued and capable, no matter what they're facing.

What encouraging phrases do you say to your kids? Which ones do you want them to remember?

I remember the way my grandmother would pause at life's magic moments and say, “This, now, this is good.” In the years since she has been gone, her words still inspire me to notice the good things as they come.

My mother inspired me as well. To this day, I can hear her encouraging me when I try new things. Her voice of assurance from my childhood continues to give me confidence now.

All of the words of encouragement recieved from my parents and grandparents have stayed with me throughout my life. 

What words of encouragement will stay with your kids for the rest of their lives?

Years after my dad died, I can still hear him saying, “Lighten up, Lissy!” when I get too serious. In moments of complete self-doubt and embarrassment, I bolster myself by thinking of him singing, “Oops, you made a mistake, and you’re beautiful to me.”

Words have immense power. They evoke potent emotions, inspiring us to greateness or filling us with sorrow. You can harness their power to inspire your children and motivate them to overcome life's challenges. 

Maintaining a positive environment through constant encouragement tips the scales toward the kindness you want your kids to imitate.

You never know the words of encouragement from you that your kids will carry with them for years.

I am happy to offer a poster version of this list here.

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Encouraging Children with Words

Research has shown that the kind of praise we give to our children influences them later in life. When we encourage our children, we should focus on their effort rather than their talent.

Recognize their effort.

Show your kids encouragement when they try their best. It doesn't matter if their abilities are top-notch or need work, or if they won or lost. They need to understand that effort matters more than outcome. Encourage them to try their best at everything they do.

Specific phrases increase motivation.

Don't generalize your words of encouragement. Be specific, focusing on what they are working to accomplish. If they are painting a picture, for example, focus on the different colors they have chosen rather than just saying good job.

Be sincere.

The praise you offer your children must be sincere and honest. If it doesn't feel sincere, they will likely not feel encouraged at all. The praise is ultimately discounted and can lead to a child to practice self-criticism.

Avoid controlling or conditional praise

When you use praise and encouragement to control your child, they think your approval and positivity depends solely on performance. We will always make mistakes and have stumbles as part of learning and growth. Child who believe they'll be rejected if they make mistakes may suffer from low self worth, perfectionist tendencies and a life-long feeling of ‘never enough'.

Avoid comparison.

You also want to avoid comparison praise because instead of motivating them to work harder, it can end up backfiring. When comparing your child to others and praising them by comparison, they become vulnerable to setbacks they may experience in the future. They learn to compare themselves to others and when they fail, instead of looking towards their own strengths and how to build on those, they look at how they're ‘worse' than someone else. This makes it easier to become frustrated and feel helpless while losing their motivation.

The Benefits of Encouragement

When we encourage our children with positive words and affirmations, we boost their self-esteem, help them learn to believe in themselves, assist in developing their imagination and creativity, and motivate them to keep trying and learning.

You may find some of the positive phrases hokey, or wonder if saying them over and over reduces their power. I think of it a different way. I keep offering words of encouragement, hoping the repetition makes them stick. 

Years from now, when my children face a difficult job interview, a challenging conversation with their spouse or a day that seems like all of the ends are unraveling, my hope is that they’ll remember hearing me encouraging them, and their internal voice will say, “I have faith in you. I’m sure you can handle it. You are loved.”

You can get a poster version of this list here.

You may also like:

• Being More Present – 100 Ways to be Kind to your Child
• Increasing Resilience – The One Question to Ask Before Helping Your Kids
• Connecting with Kids – Best Family Board Games
• Believing You Are Enough – Banishing the Should Mama

References:

• De Montfort University Leicester (2019, October 11). Research shows praising children five times a day has a positive impact. Retrieved from https://www.dmu.ac.uk.
• National Scientific Council on the Developing Child (2018). Understanding Motivation: Building the Brain Architecture That Supports Learning, Health, and Community Participation Working Paper No. 14. Retrieved from www.developingchild.harvard.edu.