By Author and Kid Crafts Blogger, Maggy Woodley, of Red Ted Art. Part of Our Raising Problem Solvers series.
I just wanted to share our day with you today.
Today, my son came 3rd in his class audience for the talent show. Which means he won't go through to the school finals.
Today, we had sports day. And in the final race he didn't win (he claims because another boy pushed him). Today, at sports day, his team didn't win.
Today, as we walked back to school. He was in floods of tears, feeling extremely sorry for himself.
Though, I feel sad for him (especially for the talent show), I am GLAD he failed. I am glad he “only came 3rd” (20 of his class mates didn't even try, but he didn't practice his “show” at all). I am GLAD he didn't win the race (he needs to learn some tactics, and stand by the side of the race and not in the scrum of it). I am GLAD that “he is having a bad day and that he lost at everything”. (I saw him in the other races, he was NOT focussed and he DID have his head in the clouds, why should he win?).
We live in a society where our kids get rewarded for everything they do. They get rewarded for “just taking part”. They get praised for everything they do and they are not always challenged to try harder.
When they grow up, they will face the real world – real job interviews, real clients, real relationships and they will have to know how to cope with set backs. They need to learn from set backs and come back stronger. They need to learn not to give up and that one set back doesn't mean, they don't have other skills or that they can't try again.
So today, I am glad he failed.
Today, my job is, to listen to him. To acknowledge his feelings and to let him know I love him and to watch him grow up a little more.
This is part of the raising Problem Solvers series here on Creative With Kids. You May also like: